Looking into my past I was a very different person socially ten to fifteen years ago.  A perfect Friday night for me was playing some video games, eating a pizza, drinking some beer and smoking a joint alone.  Hell, that still is a good Friday night, but it’s hardly what I would consider an apex in the scheme of living.

Most of my friends know I will candidly speak openly on meeting women using magic as a crutch.  This stems from having gone out sometimes seven days a week to clubs, bars, festivals and the like.  I’ve been with two bi-sexual models, both relationships lasting more than two years.  That aside as a I write this I’ve been dating the same woman now for about 7 months who graduated culinary school, is a hell of a cook, doesn’t expect me to buy random shit for her, works at the US Department of Veterans Affairs….as to say a pretty damn good catch.  Finding those good catches seems to be a lifelong problem for most men though, and, as I see all around me day per day it’s really no wonder.

This morning I read this article.  Thus as a start give it a quick glance and understand that none of these “problems” should be problems in the first place.

10 Cruel Things Women Do To Men

For anyone that thought “Yeah…that sux *whine*, they would need to improve on themselves immensely.  For those that went “pffffft”, chances are your doing better than the previous.

10-They don’t pick up the phone

Reverse psychology.  If a girl you met doesn’t pick up the phone leave a short message and DON’T CALL AGAIN.  Most single women that give numbers either really liked you *duh*, or were just trying to be nice *ouch*.  Don’t leave a message in the manner of “I was thinking about you and I had such a great time last night” etc.  Holy shit balls no!  Fact is you may think that woman is spending the next day fantasizing and thinking about your meeting, but fact is that is more of a guy thing.  Some Chode masturbating 5 times the next day with her in mind.    This is because that girl gets hit on at very least five times a day ever since she was 15 or so.  She is either testing you in some manner, or is just friggin’ busy.  Leave a message to let her know she is missing out on something “really cool” your going to do.  It can even be the most mundane shit in the world.  “Hey, I’m just getting dressed up to go out and get some Thai at this place down the road that has orgasmic Pad Thai, then roll over to Jack’s Brew Pub and entertain some random people with my friend Vicky.  Later”.  So the girl doesn’t answer the phone!  Oh no!  Now she knows you got shit to do to, are with another girl, and she’s missing out on some good fun with YOU…..THE PRIZE.  Look how the whole perspective changes.  God dammit if you think a chic not answering the phone is a heart breaker give up now.

9-Use men for free drinks

You dumb fucks.  I HAVE NEVER ONCE bought a girl a drink.  You must have rocks in your head if you do.  They buy ME drinks though.  If a girl asks you to buy a drink you should be puzzled and disgusted naturally.  “No, but you can buy me one”, or “Are you serious?”….then just look away and BE uninterested.  Girls asking you to buy drinks are ugly self centered bitches.  Problem is they think that shit will get them laid (face it).  Give me a break.  If your buying drinks for random women your a TRY HARD.  Women don’t like try hards.  They like men that are different and don’t take that shit.  Don’t be a dick, just let it be known your not “that guy”.  More women than not will be turned on more by you standing your ground.  I don’t care if it’s Stephanie Seymour….I’m not buying you a god damn drink.

8-Use men as placeholders

Isn’t this mainly natural for both sides?  If relations waiver and you still enjoy the girl none the less, your going to start looking for other options.  Really it’s nothing to be ashamed of if you have a line of girls on the ready, even if you date the same girl for years.  Placeholder is a strong word.  I would just say we all should strive to be attractive personas and not worry about the other girl that would jump on when the train leaves.  Let’s not double standard.  Think Brad Pitt is using Angelina Jolie as a place holder because 95 percent of the female population would fuck him?  Be with the ones you care about, but having a bench warmer or two is just realistic.  Other people CAN like you.

7-Emotionally manipulate men

OK.  Fuck this one.  Leave.  Fast.  If you stick with these bitches your a pussy that can’t move on.  Nuff said.  Run.

6-Use physical violence

Again.  Same as 6.  I’m not some chauvinistic pig, but damn.  If a girl hit me I’d mace her ass and never talk again.

5-Criticize their men in public

The problem in this is distinguishing if she if being playful about it, or just being outright cruel.  Back “in my day” there was no such thing as a “neg”, though now that is a term coined it seems.  These can be really playful and funny.  Who doesn’t like criticism?  Oh right most don’t.  If it hits hard then chances are that criticism is truth.   This can better anyone.  On the other hand if she’s just being a cunt….same as 6 or 7.  Leave her.  Just think!  There are men who married these bitches in 7-5 and will be with them all their lives.  (ah haha).

4-They don’t disclose their relationship status

Girl “I have a boyfriend”
Cardman “He’s not me is he”

So what.  She has a bloody boyfriend.  Be thankful she’s not sterile and still knows she can flirt and have fun.  Do they expect women to say “Hi, I’m Mary…I have a boyfriend”.  What kind of pussy let’s that bother them?  Take 30 seconds and realize her friend may be single, she’s fun anyway, or she obviously digs on you more.  The only way to make problems that aren’t there is to convince yourself there are ones.

3-They withhold sex

Ahhhhhhhh….poor guy.  Masturbate in the bathroom, or if your daring do it right next to her. Women like sex more than you, they just need more nudges to get it on. Problem? No.

2-They test their men

That’s what women do.  Test em back.  These things should be fun not cruel.  BUT if she is trying to manage you, then there is a problem.  One could go on and on on this topic, but if your secure in yourself, you’ll be honest, straight forward and the like.  Chances are pretty fair that she is doing it because she REALLY likes you.  Subconsciously her sexual nature may be doing so without her realizing she is “testing” to see if you’d make a good father.

1-They flirt to inspire jealousy

When your single this is OUR atom bomb.  Does a so called “Alpha male” get jealous of anything?  I went out with one girl who would dance in sexy outfits in small stage productions in the city for festivals and whatnot.  It was all very simple, she came home to me even though a couple thousand dudes “had thoughts”.  I thought that was hot as hell.  It’s all in perspective.  If you get jealous then you either need to man up, let everyone know in a subtle way she’s with you.  She she still tramps around, do the same.  Jealousy is a pebble on a beach for a man compared to jealously in women.  Half the time I think women get all dolled up to make other women jealous rather than trying to attract men.

Anyway.  That list is bullshit, and was catered for pussies.  Get out, live, learn, speak your mind.  They will come.

Evernote is a free app for iphone I’ve really been digging on lately. Instead of yapping about it, I’ll just say it’s a great tool for magicians that have iPhones. Keeping notes is probably the best tool we can have. Keeping them online is a great benefit. Check it out.

I decided to add my handling of the Card of The Month effect.  I feel it is superior for the two reasons given.  Culling prevails over “programming the deck” ten fold I think.  Seems it would be a challenge to find a stronger method of Lie Detector plot, and it’s all set and done in only about 10 seconds….give or take.

With thanks to Ron Bauer and John Luka for the superb formula.  On the other hand I think I’d take the Pepsi Challenge my not so brilliant use of a cull is king.  Also the value being shown on first turn of “spot or face” is somewhat too much too early for no reason.

My brain became a cluttered mess of effects long ago.  Most every book I’ve ever purchased has been read and pondered from cover to cover.   Is it really a shame that only 2 percent, at best, actually leaves with my footsteps out the door?  Personally I would have it no other way.  If people didn’t get confused they were riding the same horse around the same looping track, video downloads and whatnot wouldn’t be in business.  It seems every month someone has a “new” Card Warp for instance.  Though I read and enjoy learning different Card Warps from my books I’ve settled on only one that suits myself, and takes care of as many “errors” as possible.  Practice to me is horribly enjoyable, and even if an effect in a book is a total turd the time was well spent for the joy of finding the ones that pertain to my style.

Keeping notes couldn’t be more important.  One of the most valid methods of getting better is keeping certain types of effects at bay.  For instance I performed Jack Carpenter’s Mysterious with great satisfaction to laymen for about a decade.  As of now I traded this routine in for JK Hartman’s Trapparition.  Though I can of course perform both, a type of clutter of effects can happen in (at least mine) the brain.  There is little value to actually remember Mysterious now being I loathe magicians that do the same plots in one sitting.  Getting things straight really isn’t much of a challenge being I know what workers I have in the brain ready to go.  My time in hunting and expanding is far from futile, but I’d assume many of us get a cluster fuck of effects in the head, many the same plots, without “letting go” and upgrading.

I humbly recommend making notes as per the type of effects you are going to be PERFORMING.  Categorizing is important.   For instance mine would read something like this:

Twisting: Think, Touch, Turn.  Use selection from previous effect to avoid monotony and the weakness of having a card selected as per that routine.

Triumph:  In the hands version with Goodwin/Jennings display…transpo instead of single face down card

Signed Card/Mystery Card: JK Hartman Trapparition

Further Than That: Mike Skinner’s version with Eddie Fields use of 10-20.  3 spectators needed.

Hofzinser  Problem: Another Rumor, variant on Billis change.

On and on.  Not exactly mind numbing, but a list of sorts is in my wallet, even if I never use the thing, I got small notes and back up.  I just like to have a reminder of what I’m doing well and have made/or creating a worker with.  The best magicians I’ve ever seen can adapt to the environment properly.  If there are 10 people in a circle and the magician only hands the deck out to be shuffled or for a card selected, he’s missing out on getting (perhaps all 10) others into the fray.  While the noob may perform 2 card Monte and then a transpo using a dupe (slap), the adept will be prepared to make the person “getting the most attention” the magician.  Sometimes I’ll even analyze the cleanliness and texture of a surface for Mexican turn overs.  Then I’d perform something like “Bare Naked  Ladies” or a prediction ala. memorized stack (Tamariz Three Crown Jewels No.1) .

Finding routines and understanding the proper time and place may be the difference between a great effect looking flat, and  a flat effect looking brilliant.  Point is not to know 20 oil and water routines and 8 ways to do open prediction.  2 at most of each plot is more than enough.  But dividing what each plot does, and how some would appear the same to laymen, the environment etc. can make all the difference in the world.  Getting it all straight and adjusting is a great reward.

On the other hand we all hear of the guy that does six effects, does them well, and dies doing the same six effects.  Though I think the overall theory of the ideal is sound, the guy never expanded to anything better.  Variety is the spice of life.  Having too much variety without mastery is death.  I would rather do 6 effects very well this year, then have 6 more sometime in the future.  It’s not that things have changed that much.  We may just decide that Paul Curry’s Out Of This World (handling) did us justice, but U.F. Grant’s from a shuffled deck got the upgrade….who knows from there.  Research and access to more books is a heaven sent but fine tuning is bliss…just don’t blow a fuse.  Those that perform and “forget”, I think are the ones at home flipping through books too much and never going any farther.

It becomes amusing at a certain point to get your first 50 or so “Spectator takes card….has the your going to guess my card so I’ll just hold it (Heckler hell anyone?)/ or seem surprised when you ask for the card to be replaced”.  Many laymen for the most part think that is pretty much the only reason anyone would spread a deck of cards in the first place, especially if your name was dropped beforehand.  I didn’t realize the frustration I’d have from time to time opening a pack not in memorized order.  If you’ve never had some asshole grab a card and say “what am I holding in my hand” bolting into the automatic Fred Kaps “There is no challenge in magic when performing for laymen” [sic] mode.  It’s unfortunate people can be so brash in their actions, and I for one think it’s pointless to challenge a spectator, still, ending what you started at any cost should be a must.  To me the number one item to prepare for is that exact scenario in card magic in the trenches.  The “card plucker” if you will.  I near beg for them sometimes in rough environments.

6 years ago and beyond I would carry in ID deck near exclusively for an out.  The environments I prefer to perform in have no real unwritten rules of etiquette, such as performing on stage.  The ID got me out of some strange circumstances that were righted with great reactions.  On the other hand I found it interesting that on a rare occasion someone would actually spout something along the lines of “the deck is just in some kind of order”.  Let’s face it.  Unless your using your own algorithm, ID can be pretty bloody obvious that way.  When we step back and look at the odd/even you can’t blame someone keen enough for stating such a thing.

That basically is all I carry when I go out.  2 decks in memorized order (or one in a stay stack) and a pyro perception device of some sorts.  I can’t fathom why anyone would want to lose out on having a deck in some kind of “ready, set, go” from the moment the box is opened.  It’s not that it needs to be babied the whole time by any means, it’s just a great benefit with large rewards.  The best reward being with a stack is “your not doing anything”.  I gave up the whole ACAAN fascination by simply having a card called for and bringing it to the top…after showing it’s not on top of course.  This simple trial proved that most people just don’t register the extreme nature and complexity of adding a number to the routine.  It’s a very simple item to follow…you name it…hand the deck to someone to hold…there is the card they called for.  To laymen these simple things make you the best magician in the known world because you “didn’t do anything”.  This simple example shows how not only can memorized make you better than half the “pros”, but beyond rationally of a humanly possible manner that few card effects can mimic without having a stack at the get go.  One in the pocket, one on the go.  If you’ve never tried such a simple use of pocket management I can’t state in words how wonderful, and how many options you have on the fly it brings.  Give it a whirl.

This is a part of the hype someone wrote to sell Juan’s book at Vanishing Inc.

I don’t use Tamariz stack, and I’m quite happy I memorized Aronson stack. But as you’ll soon discover, memorized deck magic is not usually stack dependent (meaning you can use ANY memorized stack for most of the tricks in Mnemonica and Simon’s books).

Which stack should you learn? That depends. The main feature of the Aronson stack is that it has many useful, built-in features that outweigh the built-in features of the Tamariz stack. The advantage of Mnemonica stack is that you can get into it (and out of it) with new deck order. This makes a colossal finish, or allows you to get into the stack when you open a fresh pack.

This so called argument is old and incorrect overall.  On the web over the years people to nausea say “well with Juan’s you can get back to new deck order”, yet no one goes beyond that.  As to say it goes back to new order because there is a legitimate mathematical principal which is essentially an adjustment from a 4th faro shuffle.  In essence instead of looking at Tamriz stack as narrow as “You can end in new deck order, and start from new deck order”, it would be more proper to say:

Tamariz stack is valid through any of the 8 faro stages, thus, it is also complete with:
Stay Stack (which has no logical order at brief glance as a note)
Gilbreath Principle
Other Patterns Within The Stack Itself

A little more than just “new deck order” I’d say.  Secondly in stating “Aronson has “built in” stuff, this is a very shallow statement.  You can spell to some cards without changing the order (10 to 15 if I recall right), and a few other minor items.  Comparing these minor items to Tamariz stack as a “plus” is preposterous.  Tamariz stack also has any poker hand called for spelling etc. “built in” with VERY minor adjustments, all which can be reset.

I’ve just found it odd over the years magicians seem to look at Tamariz stack so shallowly, in that you can end in new deck order as the big prize.  Anyone that reads the book from cover to cover knows the benefits of a logical mathematical stack without a few little “items” supposedly that make Aronson’s “better”.  The important thing to note is how and why that is.  Personally I’d rather end with something like “Marlo’s Matching Routine” (which is a killer in Faro Controlled Miracles) or even sacrifice any ending order for something like Max Maven Mocking Bird type effect, RedivideR, The Arrangement,  type  etc.  Stay stack and Gilbreathe I dare say are some of the strongest effects you can perform for laymen….and to my surprise will fool a whole forum of magicians (published the same year Ella Fitzgerald was in the top 10 charts no less).

Any stack is better than no stack.  Still, when someone advertises Juan’s book in that manner, it shows the actual nature of Juan’s stack has been misinterpreted too many times.  Aronson in comparison is very linear.  You can’t even compare the two.  “Aronson stack is that it has many useful, built-in features that outweigh the built-in features of the Tamariz stack”….my ass. That’s like saying counting with your fingers has more results than a digital calculator.  Or another analogy may be the difference between a straight line and a wheel.  Don’t get me wrong Aronson stack is great, I just hope those that want to learn a stack don’t get confused to what Tamariz stack really is….numerical and sequence based.

I learned Aronson’s first and then switched being I advanced my sleights.  My humble advice is, if you can faro and are looking for a stack, it’s a no brainier.  If your somewhat new to cards and want a few poker demonstrations without having to make minor changes to the stack, and the basics of memorized, such as naming a card and whatnot, go for Aronson’s.  Again, both are great, but in the end I think it comes down to skill and in this rare case perhaps age of the performer.

I feel better.

Many of you probably know this already, but Google Books is a great place to find “mostly” full classic books. It all depends on the copyright date. Many are posted in full. You can also give our friends at LearnedPig a try too.

Let’s pick two on MagicPiracy.Org’s pirated book list. It’s a funny world when we can trade many classic books we love at will and legally. But can’t post a picture of Tim Ellis’ face without legal threats. Our personal favorite was “In other words, if you don’t play nice I’ll take away your toys.” Yup. He actually said that in relation to a fucking picture. *middle finger*

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