I'm The Boss

It was perhaps a colder day in the Magic Cafe when Justin Miller announced he is leaving magic. Armchair magicians and old farts with cards and coins in hand all cried out at the loss of a talented young man. Justin bid a tearful goodbye, and left magic saying it conflicts with his religious beliefs.

Four months later…

The second coming

Fast forward to January 2007:

I truly believe that God asked me to “lay it down” and for me, it meant getting rid of the OLD so HE can FILL me with the NEW! It’s all good! – Justin Miller

The heavens parted, a light came down onto Justin. A voice, that only Justin could hear, boomed across the sky “Pick up thy cards”. Was it the voice of the Holy Father? Maybe Jesus? No one really knows. It prompted this boy, who has become a man, to put on his sparkley vest and be a magician again. (Well, either that or it could be that Justin’s wife just plopped out a kid and he needs cash.)

So Justin Miller begins lecturing and creating magic; some of it even, wasn’t too bad. This need to spread his magic grows, and every dollar, which is no doubt donated to the painting of churches across America, is appreciated… then it happens.

The Devil Calls

The Satan of magic, Brad Christian, entices Justin to join the ranks of … (gasp) ELLUSIONIST.

The evil corporation of greed and gestapo tactics has brainwashed our beloved Justin into their legion.

Justin Miller now sits next to his equally brainwashed comrade, Daniel Garcia (who is known to take other magician’s ideas, give them a spiffy name and release them). Hell has claimed one of our own.

Money, Fame, Fanboys, Rentboys

Justin presides from his evil throne, which is made from the tongues and fingers of those who dared to type a negative word on the Ellusionist forums. Justin is famous for releasing magic tricks and has his own legion of 12 year old boys eager to defend their master’s every attempt at magic. They hail it all as the greatest ever produced. Every month.

Lightning crashes overhead as Brad Christian looks down at it all with a wicked cackle, while the mountain of cash he stands on grows ever higher. Justin’s once proud Silver Dream serves only to fuel Brad’s piles of sordid gold.

Justin, you are now in the league of the devil. Jesus is watching!

There is an age old question as to the appropriate manner to approach a spectator in the world of street/clubs/bars.  I think the err with most magicians is the hunt for a magical line.  Really in all honesty approach just takes practice.  Normally people I’ve approached cold and do magic right away respond rather poorly.  On the other hand befriending people for only 2 minutes or so in my world has been key.  Opening lines are best when they are a product of the environment.

Do you like this song?

What are you drinking?  I need to broaden my horizons.

I like that shirt.  Oh, do you have a deck of cards by chance?  Oh, we’ll use mine then.

The problem as with anything of this sorts is the fear of rejection.  A tough skin is the best way to go into it.  People can be downright cruel in the end.   None the less with approach of magic you get to pick whom you perform for.  Put your aura glasses on and just be human.  People are out and about to mingle and enjoy good company.  Magic is truly a selfless gift, if the person you approach can’t accept this…fuck em.  Hit the reset button like Nintendo and go for it again.

In the end learn social dynamics and understand what it really means to interact with people.
How to Win Friends & Influence People is a fantastic and low cost way to start.

If there is one thing I rebel on in life is authority figures.  Even worse is the whining casual citizen, attempting to tell you “you can’t do that!”.

So the war is on in the magic world to rid the land of this vile scum that trade magic.  I recently read the following article from Itricks.

Add one more name to the list of Swedish and Somali pirates under fire. Art Of Misdirection is the latest torrent site being pressured by Bit Bounty Hunter James L. Clark.

You might remember Clark’s last adventure lead to a reformed pirate’s apology.

Clark has tracked the owner of the site and is currently pressuring his ISP to shut the board down. Currently, the community consists of an easy repository for torrents of magic books and DVDs. Magic Unlimited’s Tim Eillis provides an incredibly detailed explanation here.

We wish Clark the best in his noble pursuit to police our industry’s turbulent cyber waters.

Incidentally, the Pittsburgh Pirates are currently playing .500 ball. That is all.

Bounty Hunter? Like Booba Fett?

I had never heard of this James Clark, and quickly found he owns *sigh*an internet magic shop.  Upon closer inspection I noticed he actually had on the front page the home address of the man that owns the Art Of Misdirection IP.  That’s right, complete street address for all to see.  This is about as low as you can get in my book, whether or not you love or hate torrent transfers, unprofessional and psychotic is an understatement.

Make no bones about it, I think Tim Ellis is an ass hat.  I’ve seen a few of his performances and find him to be as irritating as a magician could possibly be.  Point in case. (Keep in mind he proudly sells this “effect”.)

Wasn’t that just funny as hell.  But let’s take this a little furthur.

Now that REALLY IS entertaining and funny.

Actually have a simple point going on here.  Penn and Teller EXPOSED what Ellis I’m sure would consider a “magic trick”, obviously worthy of being sold.  It’s a simple fact that magicians are sick and tired of gags being sold as magic (Daniel Garcia “Warning” comes first to mind, which is an old bar trick).  Secondly magicians are tired as hell of the same fucking plots being sold over and over and over.  When traveling to Blacks Magic *TM (I don’t want to be sued), I noticed very rapidly that there was nothing I would even consider buying there.  Same shit, different day, some dill hole trying to make extra cash.

You begin to notice that these shitty Internet sites like this are the true corruption of the art of magic.  STOP trying to sell card to wallet, bill in lemon/pickle/lime/kiwi, Coin to bottle, and other assorted effects from the beginning of the 1900’s.   Real magicians don’t care and have a method we know and love.  Who are these REALLY marketed for?  LAYMEN.  James L. Clark I’m sure would fight that statement until he’s blue in the face but it’s very true.  Joshua Jay just got a ton  of shit for releasing a complete course in magic for laymen.  True minds produce books, while amateurs produce home movies with one effect.?  The difference is simple though, he produced a real product that is lovely.  Anyone with a camera and an internet connection can do what James’ does, and many do, and most are shit.

Fact-Selling magic online is a corrupt business unless you are a TRUE innovator.  Few should even think about selling effects and opening shops online.  Gigs are where the money is, not a shitty internet store.

Fact-Selling magic for the most part is a corrupt business because you pay first, having no clue what you’ll receive.

Fact-The best thing you can ever do is support the “old school”.  I usually purchase from Denny and MidWest

My point of the rantings above is magic piracy will never die.  Did Lars’ whining stop the mp3 trade?  No, people simply wanted to toss burned CD’s from helicopters and it took them years to get thier fans back.  Ellis and Clark have the same saint and or authority complex.  They are insulting to the real magicians out there.  As if we didn’t know Magic Makers products suck balls (Ellis has wasted years of his life promoting this most obvious reality *facepalm*.   On the other hand he has no bones about selling his routines which as far as I’ve ever seen are just rip offs, at best, of Vernon and Tarbell.  No one owns a way to move cards, much less thinking the way YOU shift around the cards and put it on DVD with dollar signs in your eyes is worthy of purchase.   That’s why people pirate magic.  What a revelation!  80 percent (being kind) of product is SHIT.  I humbly admit to checking out some scans of books, and DVD’s, simply using Google search (I don’t think these two really understand the extent of what it would take to “wipe out “magic piracy).  These fearmonging morons miss a very important point though.  After checking the product mildly out, I decided to buy them the next day, but otherwise wouldn’t have out of debate of not knowing what I was going to get or not hearing of the product at all.  I’m not out to rip anyone off, I’m protecting myself because I’ve been ripped off countless times by the sellers.  Thus 100 percent of everything I actually perform is on my bookshelf.  Did I take a couple sneak peeks on a few?  Damn right I did.

I neither promote nor condone piracy.  I simply am stating it’s time people start recognizing and educating themselves on being realistic in the 21st century, in the movie, record, and magic industry.  If you like it something, go buy it!  But I don’t think someone that wants to check something out beforehand is a bad person by any means.  Ever ponder how many sales are made everyday with dissapointed customers that “gave it a shot”.  In the modern era communication is our friend, and ethics on the side of the consumer and  tolerance on the side of publishers should be embraced.

Quick point of example from our super duo.  This is made in 1993, and the youtube video was put up in 2007.  For 14 years if you bought this piece of shit here is the kind of “Magic” you’d get.  It should take but one moment for your brain to say “scam”, being all you had at the time was being able to read the box.  I’ve had a lot of ideas with magic sitting on the toilet, but I haven’t sold any of them.  Ellis and his blow up doll have been selling weak ideas for years.  You get where I’m going here?  (Nice blowers cramp freeze frame as a bonus)

Truly the whores of the magic world.  But they are being scammers legally!  So what’s the write up for this lame video, we’d like to see what we get.

A great DVD crammed with over two hours of magic tricks, practical jokes and bar bets that you can do!
.
Featuring live performances and detailed teaching of:

*
6 hilarious practical jokes
*
15 amazing magic tricks
*
29 unbeatable bar bets

PLUS

Bonus performances from Ellis & Webster including the incredible Soda Can Resurrection

You’ll never pay for a drink again!

Make new friends and money at the same time!

The perfect gift for the office clown or anyone who wants to be the life of the party.

AVAILABLE ONLY FROM MAGIC UNLIMITED
.
The cost is only $19.95 AUS
Postage included to anywhere in the world!

I should go into a rant about HYPE, but I’ll save everyone.   What ya hiding there Bilbo?  Tell us more.  You know damn well why you don’t describe the “effects”

I can only speak for myself, but I own about 50 tomes.  Average cost being 40-80 dollars.  Thus the median being roughly 3,000 dollars.  In this I have a worthy plot to every card plot I’d never need for life.  Who’s the crook?  Assholes like James L Clark and his “innovative” new product.  Who are the delusional?  Wankers like Tim Ellis who matured less than my 12 year old niece waving a fight flag like candles in the wind.

Go buy Tarbell and stay away from greedy bitches like Clark and Ellis.  They are living in a fantasy world. Then again, I’m sure you knew better in the first place.  I seriously doubt Art Of Misdirection is going anywhere for a long time.  On the other hand I know when one goes down another will pop up.  So shut the fuck up and go to the club and entertain some good folks with the art we love so much.

What’s next?  To protest the selling of Erdanse at Barnes and Noble/Every book store in the world.   I’m not sure what their beef really is, exposure or copyright.  I’d assume both.  I remind everyone that toast and the circle are indeed patented as a point to ponder.  Thus if your going to talk the talk….walk the walk you silly bastards.

Ellis- Yes, I’m sure some people will think this post is merely pointing people in the direction of “free stuff”. To be honest, if you’re a magician who downloads from these sites instead of purchasing what they want, please do not EVER contact me. By stealing via these sites, you’re telling me that my creations (and those of my colleagues) is not worth paying for.

You said it douche bag.  Then again I highly doubt your rolling with Roy Walton, or Richard Kaufman has called you up for a book appointment recently have they?

How bout summore wacky antics of Tim Ellis (I can’t even express how much your presentations piss me off)

You guys should start with protesting Google (really)